The Difference

The Difference

Quality of a Bygone Era

How exactly does the quality of Sir Kensington’s Gourmet Scooping Ketchup trump that of what you currently know? Well, you may begin by asking, “What’s in ketchup?” When Sir Kensington broaches the subject, most are quick to be puzzled, imagining that “tomatoes and salt” are the key ingredients. Some wily characters will suggest “sugar,” and those with a breadth of culinary knowledge will keenly answer with, “vinegar.” All viable answers, but none quite correct. You can imagine the shock that Sir Kensington felt when he realized that common ketchups did not even contain real sugar, but rather, industrial goo: high fructose corn syrup.

As a result of this shock, he did not merely acquire the basic ingredients of Heinz from natural sources, but rather returned to the annals of history in search of the secrets to creating high caliber ketchup. Sir Kensington referenced the original recipes by Dutch seamen returning from the South China Sea where Europeans first encountered such sauces. After procuring the original parchment manuscripts from sailors' family estates at auction (along with the actual estates for good measure), Sir Kensington developed eight prototype recipes. These recipes, he then blindly proffered at his ongoing symposiums with world leaders, asking his guests to rank them against each other and against the current market offering, bringing the ketchup to its current incarnaton.

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