Who is this man & what hath he wrought?
orn to a merchant family in Great Britain, Sir Kensington attended Oxford University for his course of undergraduate study, attaining degrees in mercantile trade, agronomy, and culinary arts. Inspired by herbal curiosities brought west by sail, he developed a wanderlust and shifted his focus to the Orient.
Upon joining the National Geographic Society and Guild of Pepperers, he accepted a post in Constantinople in the service of Her Majesty, advising the British East India Company in speculation of rare spices. Upon his return to England, he authored and defended his groundbreaking thesis, A Most Seemly Union: Byzantine Gastronomy & the Delightful Marriage of Greek and Roman Influence, 330-453, to earn a doctorate from Cambridge.
The commercially savvy Sir Kensington then founded and developed a reinsurance concern later acquired by Lloyds of London, thusly freeing him to focus on his true calling: the evolution of cultural understanding. He began hosting summits and salons with various luminaries from across the Old and New Worlds alike, quickly realizing that the secret to a pleasing gathering was the gastronomic fuel on which it ran.
In which guests request seconds
t one such summit, the emperor of Japan presented the assembled guests with tender slices of Wagyu beef. Upon being served, Catherine the Great of Russia leaned toward Sir Kensington to request a side of ketchup.
Baffled yet intrigued by the request, Kensington ventured to the kitchen, where he could find nothing acceptable for such a dish or such a diner. Undeterred, he set about to create, on the spot, a ketchup that would forever bear his name. And so the knowledgeable knight became a ketchup king, forever to be fondly favoured for his flavourful findings. He remains to this day the only commoner to have been invited to Buckingham Palace for three meals in a single day.
A daring conspiracy in the name of good taste
ir Kensington's spice chronicles were feared lost until 2008, when Brown University students Scott Norton and Mark Ramadan uncovered them, filed away and forgotten, in the library's special collections.
Enchanted by the simplicity of the lost recipes, Scott and Mark vowed to revive ketchup in the Sir Kensington tradition. A great success, the experiment yielded the first of many batches of this rare and exceptional formula. Uncommon, healthful, and painstakingly prepared, it could bear no other name than that of Kensington himself.
Today, Sir Kensington's is headquartered in a Prohibition-era building overlooking the Hudson River in New York City's Meatpacking District. The company continues its tradition of daring innovation in order to offer its faithful clientele wholesome, delightful alternatives to the status quo. Sir Kensington would be proud.
"Oh, but it cannot be!" cry you, curiosity piqued. "Surely there must be more yet." Very well, dear reader: continue on your quest to discover more about this lauded proprietor and its quality goods.